Press Corpse
by Of Hellbat and Psycho
Summary: In modern Konoha, goths just get by because of accidents. Temari wants to kill Hiden, Zetsu loves Kyoko, and Kasai is being harassed by Naruto and Deidara. You gotta love life as a goth. Major O.O.C. ness. Uber fun!
1. The Beginning

**Press Corpse**

Disclaimer -- We don't own Naruto, just Kyoko and Kasai Zuki. All of this is O.O.C. so if you don't like it you can just go... not finishing that sentance... Anyway, if you do like the summary enjoy!!

XXXXX

**Wanted  
****Two roomates who don't  
****mind the color black.  
****Call:  
****77-666-1313**

"Hmm... she looks interesting, she looks annoying!" Itachi said, pointing to the two pictures of the two girl who were looking for roommates. One picture was of a girl who was flipping off the camera. She had pitch black hair and black eyes. The other girl was smiling with her tongue sticking out and doing a peace sign. This girl had light purple hair and cerulean blue eyes. Kisame looked over his shoulder, his bookbag, over his shoulder.

"I think she looks fun!" Kisame added, pointing to the girl with purple hair. Itachi rolled his eyes. Kisame and Itachi were looking for a place to stay since they lost their jobs at a local Gothic Shop store.

"We might as well call them," Itachi said with a sigh. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number. Kisame looked at the number and clicked his tongue.

"You'd think they would have personalized the number by the whole 666 thing," Kisame said, putting his bag on his bed. They were in Kisame's mother's house until they got a new place to crash. Itachi rolled his eyes as the phone began to ring.

"Hello?" a voice answered on the other end of the phone. Itachi sighed again.

"Hey, um, I'm Itachi Uchiha and my friend and I were looking at your roommate add and we were wondering if you were still in need of one," Itachi answered.

"Oh! Thanks for calling! We still need two roommates! If you could come over later that would be wonderful! By the way I'm Kyoko, the purple haired one!" Kyoko answered. Itachi sighed again. Kisame snickered as he heard the rest of the conversation. After five minutes Itachi hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket.

"We going to check the place out?" Kisame asked, fiddling with his red tie that had a skull on it. Itachi nodded his head and headed out the door. Kisame hopped off the bed and followed his friend out the door.

XXXXX

Music blared from behind the door that Itachi and Kisame stood infront of. Kisame snickered as he realized the song. Press Corpse by Anti-flag. Lovely song. Itachi sighed. Then a voice called from inside.

"THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK TALK TALK ABOUT IT! THEY JUST WANNA TIPTOE WALK AROUND IT!" Itachi raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He just raised his hand and knocked on the door. Instantly a girl with long black hair in a ponytail answered the door, looking very pissed.

"What?" she asked. Her voice was the same as the one that was singing earlier.

"We're here for the apartment roommate thing..." Itachi said, getting slightly annoyed. The girl raised and eyebrow and turned around.

"KYOKO! TWO FREAKS ARE AT THE DOOR! THEY WANT TO BE ROOMMATES!" the girl yelled down the dark hallway. A figure came bounding down the hallway. It was Kyoko.

"Hello? You must be Itachi and Kisame! Come in! Kasai try not to be rude!" Kyoko said as she slapped her friend over the head. Kasai held it and glared death at Kyoko.

"Yeah well I'm Kisame and this is Itachi, Kyoko!" Kisame said pointing to first himself and then Itachi. Kyoko nodded and turned around and walked down the hallway. Kasai just stood there looking at them. Itachi walked past her but Kisame just stared.

"What's with the blue skin?" Kasai finally asked. She turned around and walked down the hallway. Kisame followed and shut the door. He looked at her neck, it had a crow tattoo or something.

"Chemical accident. What's with the crow on the neck?" Kisame asked. At the end of the hallway Kasai turned around and glared at him.

"It's a birth defect, you bitch!" Kasai said. Kisame looked at her in shock. Itachi came up behind her.

"Really?" Itachi asked, moving her hair so he could see the crow. Kasai laughed and turned to him.

"No! It's a tattoo!" Kasai answered. Kyoko laughed and lifted up one of her sleeves, showing a thick black line that had real twine stitches around it.

"I have a tattoo, too! My older brother has a lot more like them though!" Kyoko said, a stupid grin on her face.

"You're the younger sister of Kakuzu, aren't you?" Kisame asked, coming over to take a look at the surreal tattoo.

Two hours later Kisame was telling his mom the address of the apartment as he and Itachi got their things so they could move in with Kasai and Kyoko. The day had gone well. They were now living with two gothic girls in a dark environment and they didn't have to pay rent until they both got jobs (which would have to be within a month or Kasai would kick them out or kill them, which ever one she felt like doing that day). Well life had just gotten more interesting.

XXXXX

"You three come here every day, every time we're on shift, and everytime you just are here to harass us!" Temari yelled at the three men, Sasori, Hiden, and Deidara. They were at the Rock&Roll Cafe in Konoha. Kasai, Kyoko and Temari all happened to work there. Poor them.

"Coquinkadinkaly!" Deidara said with a smug look on his face. Temari wanted to dump his food into his lap. Sasori sat in the corner, messing with the chains on his black leather Tripp jacket. Konoha seems to be goth central, Temari thought happily, being a goth herself.

"That's his word of the day if you didn't know Blondie!" Hidan said smugly. Temari scowled at Hiden for using her work nickname. Every worker at the Rock&Roll Cafe had to have a nickname. Kyoko's was Bloody Mary, Kasai's was Crow, and unfortunatly Temari's was Blondie. Hiden smirked and began to take a sip of his coffee. Temari used her tray to tip it upwards so it would spill all over him.

"Oopsies!" Temari said in a fake cute voice. She walked away with a smirk on her lips. Hiden scowled and began cussing as Sasori and Deidara rolled in laughter.

"Did you get 'em?" Kyoko asked, walking to Temari, her electronic orderpad in hand.

"Yep! Spilt Hiden's coffee all over him!" Temari said triumphantly. Kyoko laughed.

"Good thing Deidara orders his burgers plain! Or he'd ruin his shirt!" Kyoko remarked, laughing. Kyoko always laughed. Kasai walked over to them, empty tray in hand, an angry look in her eyes.

"What crawled up your butt and bit it?" Kyoko asked, indicating the fowl mood. Kasai glared back at table 7, the table that the three annoying boys always sat at.

"One, which ever one of you spilled Hiden's drink, DAMN YOU! Cause now I have to get him a new one! He's uber picky! And two, Deidara was staring at my boobs again!" Kasai practically yelled. Kyoko laughed.

"You know that's sexual harrassment," Temari told Kasai, who was fuming. She nodded and growled under her breath. Yep, Kasai was definately Temari's cousin. Kasai sighed and walked off.

"Hey, Kasai, I'm going on break! Tell Lady Tsunade that I'm going on okay? Zetsu just called and he wants to hangout! Later!" Kyoko yelled to Kasai as she put her uniform of blue jeans and black T-shirt with the cafe logo and her nickname on it on its rack. Then she burst out the door in her usual outfit of black Tripps, a red tank top that read: _I'm not insane, I'm just a genius with a headache_, and black combat boots. Kyoko ran out of the door and to the parking lot. Kasai sighed and went to table 8.

"Hey, Baby! Miss me?" Naruto asked, his head resting on his hands. Neji, Kasai's best friend, laughed. Kankuro snorted and leaned back against the booth. Oh great, Kasai thought, I have them!

"What do you want?" Kasai asked. Shikamaru pointed to a picture on the menu and Kasai wrote down what it was, a chicken burger. Lazy ass, Kasai thought, can't even tell me what he wants!

"Babe, I would like my usual, with a side of you!" Naruto said, flirtingly. Kasai slapped the back of his head. He laughed and looked at her.

"Hey, Naruto, I'm up here!" Kasai said, her pen rotating around her face. He was staring at her boobs. Neji slapped Naruto and glared at him. Kankuro looked around then at Kasai.

"Hey, where's Kyoko?" Kankuro asked. Kasai smirked.

"With Zetsu," She said happily. Kankuro's face darkened and glared out the window. Zetsu was Kyoko's best friend, she convinced him to get rid of the large flytrap necklace hat thing and just go with out it. He didn't look like a geek so much now. Out the window was Zetsu and Kyoko. His skin was half black, half white because a chemical accident. Probably the same one Kisame was in.

"Don't worry Kankuro! She said she wouldn't go out with him!" Kasai said with a smile, "But I never said he wouldn't go out with her!"

"Hey, sweet thang! I would like my drink!" Deidara called from table 7. Naruto turned around and glared at him.

"She's mine Deidara!" Naruto yelled at him.

"I don't see a ring on her hand!" Deidara called back.

"Well I don't see you makin her laugh!" Naruto said.

"I don't laugh around either of you..." Kasai said, but they ignored her.

"Ya know, Ka, this reminds of when we were running from the cops and you tripped and you blamed me and we started fighting while we were running and then I ran into a tree!" Neji told Kasai. She laughed. Naruto and Deidara glared at him. Damn him, they thought.

"Anyway I gotta go. My shifts over!" Kasai laughed looking at her watch. Neji rolled his eyes. Kankuro, Hiden, Shikamaru, Naruto, Deidara, and Sasori groaned. Now they would never get their food!

"Hey, Kasai, could you give me a lift?" Temari asked, coming up behind her. She was out of her uniform and was wearing a long black skirt and a tank top that read: _I'm not a loud-mouth. I'm the distraction for the shy one. _It was a bit weird to say the least.

"Yea, got it. Hey Kankuro you comin'?" Kasai asked, looking at Temari's older brother and her cousin. He nodded his head and scooted out of the booth to follow them.

"Hold on out in the Hummer. Temari, watch him so he doesn't kill Zetsu. I gotta go get changed," Kasai said, already taking off her apron. Naruto nearly sprang outta the seat, if Shikamaru wasn't holding his shoulder.

"I'll come with ya, sweet cheeks!" Naruto said again, this time Neji punched his arm. Really hard.

"Stop being a pervert, Naruto!" Neji ordered. Naruto whimpered and curled up in mock sadness. Kasai sighed and walked off. She came back a few minutes later to see table 7 empty. Good, she thought, walking out of the cafe. The wind kicked up her skirt, so she had to hold it down. She was wearing a green and pink plaid miniskirt, tall knee high socks, black boots, and a black tank top that read: _bad kitty_, it was a cobweb cross that had a cat in the center and the number 13 on it.

Temari and Kankuro were bickering in the hummer, Kankuro kept pointing to were Kyoko and Zetsu were, before they drove off in Zetsu's car. Joy. This would be a long drive.

After dropping them off, Kasai realized she needed some personal time. She headed to her apartment, plans on how to relax forming in her head.

* * *

A/N: Hey everyone! It's us! Hellbat and Psycho! We're sisters writing this story so thanks for reading chapter one! In the next chapter is going to be all about Temari and her personal time, Kasai and her time with Itachi (no, we aren't pairing them!), and Kyoko and her time with Zetsu (who has a major crush on Kyoko!).

Okay so as you already may know, Kakuzu and Kyoko are related. Kakuzu happens to be her older brother. It's our story so deal with it. Kasai is the Sand Siblings cousin as well. Oh in case you're wondering, this story takes place in modern time, and none of them are ninjas. Why Zetsu, Kisame, and Tobi (he appears next chapter) have weird skin colors will be explained next chapter! Oh and one more thing, they all are goths! If you want an idea of what they look like, go to and search 'Spader7' and click on the ID thing then go to Browse Gallery you'll need to look for Street Fashion Naruto -Guys/Girls/Akatsuki. We don't own those pictures so if you are Spader7 please yell at us and let us know if you think it's okay for us to use your pictures for inspiraion,okay? Not all outfits are the same. We will not show you what Kyoko and Kasai Zuki look like so use your imagination! Well enjoy chapter 2 when it comes out!

Naruto - Please Review! Now can I please have a date with Kasai::puppy dog eyes::

Hellbat - NO!!

Psycho -- Must resist puppy eyes!!


	2. Relaxation

**Disclaimer -- Okay, we still don't own Naruto (Pyscho is workin on the paper work though. Unsucessfully). If we did, it'd be really bad. Cause we suck at drawing (Psycho- Neji would be mine mine mine!!!!!).**

**A/N: Also in chapter 1 we (Psycho - by we, she means her) mis-spelled Hidan's name. Sorry for that. We'll fix it later. We're just really lazy cause it's like 5:25 in the morning. Anyway on with the story!

* * *

**

"What people say,--" she said.  
_What we think, _He thought.  
'**Inner selves' **She argued with herself.  
**_Inner Demons_**, they screamed in his mind.

* * *

"Ugh, will you just shut up about it!! Kyoko doesn't like you! Move on!" Temari yelled at her enraged older brother, as they walked away from Kasai's car. Kankuro rolled his eyes and walked forward. _Like he's gonna care about what I say! He never listens! _Temari yelled in her mind. Being the only girl in the house meant nothing to any of them.

"Whatever, Tem! I'm gonna find Gaara!" With that the oldest Sand Sibling marched into the house. Temari sighed. _I need some alone time! **... Go to the mall... Spend all your money... **Hmm... I hate my inner demons... Oh well! They always know how to have fun! _Temari laughed to herself as she walked to car. It was an old 1986 Mustang. The paint was gone and it was rusting. _Needs a new paint job,_ Temari thought as she hopped into the car. The outside might look like crap, but the inside Temari took pride in. It always looked and smelled like a new car. _**Buy a new car... like Kasai's Hummer... **But I love my car! **You know you want one... **Shut the fuck up before I go to church! _Temari marveled at how quickly the inner demon shut up. _Hmmm... Note to self: go to church one day to see if it actually goes away! _Temari laughed as she put the key in the ignition. It roared to life and Temari pulled out of the driveway.

On the radio was 'So cold I could see my breath' by Emery. Temari nodded her head in time with the song. In five minutes she parked her car in front of the Konoha mall. It was always larger than the Suna mall. But then again, Temari hadn't been to Suna in seven years. Not since the accident that nearly killed her entire family, save for Kasai, Kankuro and Gaara.

"Hmm... I need new clothes," Temari whispered. She walked into the mall, her black Kat bag in hand. She headed towards Hot Topic. Once inside Temari went on a spree. It was 50 off everything in the store. Temari just got her pay check from both The Rock&Roll Cafe and Texaco, too! $180 dollars would find a happy home here in the Hot Topic cash register!

"Oh this is adorable!" "I must have this!" "Kasai and Kyoko will love this!" "Hinata has this! Sakura has this too!" In the middle of picking up a blue skull camo skirt, Temari stopped.

"My bastard senses are tingling!" Temari whispered, her spine crawling.

"Hey, Blondie!" Hidan said, his head leaning on Temari's shoulder. She screamed and slapped him. Then stood up and held pepperspray out in front of her.

"Where did you come from!" Temari yelled holding the pepper spray out to his face.

"Man, calm down. I just saw you and said 'Hi'" He stood back up and looked at her. "Are you seriously thinking about spraying me with that?"

"Maybe." Temari put the pepper spray back in her pocket. Hidan looked to Temari's other hand.

"You gonna put the pocket knife away, too?" He asked pointing to the pocket knife that had appeared in her hand. _Huh?!! When did I pull this out?! _**'I did that' **_Oh great, you again! _**"Oh it's wonderful to know that you love the way that I protect you! Ingrate!' **_Don't call me an ingrate! You're the one who is ingrateful! _**'Hey, retard, Hidan's talkin to you...'** Temari noticed Hidan was looking at her. She put the pocket knife in her other pocket and glared at him.

"What are you doing here?" Temari demanded. Her hand was itching to grab the pocket knife and stab him in the eye with it. Oh how she sooo wanted to do that. Every part of her was screaming to do it. But she luckily had enough self control not to. Although it was quickly fading. Not good.

"Getting stuff for my room. I see you're bra shopping. What size is that? Asomething?" Hidan asked haughtily. He was smirking as he watched Temari's face go red, either with embarassment or anger. Hidan hoped it was embarassment.

"It's none of your business, Bastard!" Temari yelled. She pulled out the pepperspray and aimed for his eyes. Hidan put his hands up in mock surrender.

"You won't spray me with that!" He accused, taking a step back. Temari took a step forward, arms and hands still poised to hit the spray button. Then an idea jumped into her head. She quickly noticed who she was looking for then sprang into action.

"RAPE!!!!! PERVERT GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!" Temari yelled. Then buff man who she noticed earlier was luckily the kind who would help a damsel in distress. He marched over to Hidan and Temari.

"Is there a problem, ma'am?" He asked. Hidan got really stiff and started glaring at Temari. She used all of her self control to keep from smirking.

"Yes, sir! He just tried to grab my breasts!" Temari said, making her voice as scared and innocent as she could. Thank Hinata for this lovely trick.

"Sir, I didn't do anything to her! I'm a godly person and it's against my ways!" Hidan said quickly, but the man didn't believe him.

"Get away from her, boy. I've seen people like you before!" the buff man said. He positioned himself between Temari and Hidan. Temari smirked at Hidan behind the man's back. He glared. Then the buff man walked behind Temari and walked with her out of the shop.

"Thank you, sir, for helping me! You seem to know how to handle the situation. Do you do this often?" Temari asked. The man nodded.

"Yes. I'm the Hyuuga heiress bodyguard. This happens all the time," the man smiled and walked away. _Thank you Hinata! _Temari thought as she walked away. Then she snickered as she remember what she left with Hidan.

XXXXX

Hidan glared at the door as Temari and the buff man walked away. _How dare she! I'll get her later! _Hidan thought. He turned to pay for his things when something fell to the floor that was harp-hazardly put on top of his things. It was Temari's bra she was going to get and a note.

Hidan picked up the note. It read: _By the way jerk, I wear a 24C. _Hidan blushed slightly at reading this. Then he bent over and looked at the bra's size. 24C. His blush reddened.

XXXXX

"Ugh!" (hmm... deja vu) Kasai groaned as she walked into her apartment. She threw her keys into a little bowl and walked down the black hallway. The entire apartment was painted black. The carpet was a dark navy color, although cigarette burns and wine stains made some areas black. The windows were all covered with thick black out curtains. One was spray painted pink, Naruto's fault. The tile in the mini kitchen and bathrooms were checkered white and black. The walls still black. The only other color came from the lights, which are all violet. Except in Kasai and Itachi's room, it's neon green. Lava lamps were everywhere.

Walking into the living room, Kasai fell over onto the red couch that had burns all over the fluffly covering. Kasai laid down then heard an 'oof!' Kasai turned a little to see her elbow in Itachi's stomach.

"Yikes!" Kasai said jumping off the couch. Itachi held his stomach and glared at her.

"I was reading..." Itachi exclaimed. Kasai laughed at his stupid reaction. Itachi sighed and stood up.

"So why aren't you at work?" Itachi asked, looking down at Kasai. _She's short, _Itachi thought, smirking.

"I got off shift early," Kasai said looking up at Itachi. He was a lot taller than her. Kasai came up to his rib cage.

"You're short!" Itachi laughed.

"I'm not short! I'm vertically challenged! And everyone is taller than me!" Kasai yelled, chucking a random object at Itachi. He dodged the alarm clock.

"Stop throwing things!" Itachi said. He picked up a pillow and held it in front of him.

"Plus! I like short people!" Itachi yelled right before Kasai threw something. She stopped in mid throw.

"What? Did. You. Say?" Kasai asked, her eye twitching.

"Yes! I think they're sexy! I think it's even sexier that they like to write about me in their diaries!" Itachi laughed. Kasai threw the object. It was a faulty lamp.

"What??!! You read my diary??!!!!" Kasai yelled. Itachi pulled a little black book with red cursive words on the cover that read: _Kasai Zuki's Personal Diary. _Weird to say the least.

"Give it back!!!" Kasai said, running at him. Itachi pulled the diary above his head, out of Kasai's reached for it but he was too tall!

"Itachi!!" Kasai yelled pushing him over. Itachi grabbed the closest thing to stabilize himself on. It happened to be Kasai. They fell over and Kasai tried to reach the book. Itachi put an arm around her waist to keep her from getting closer to it. He still had it over his head.

Just then the door opened and in walked Kisame and Tobi, Kisame's friend. Both stopped in their tracks at the sight on the living room floor.

"Oh my god! My eyes!!!" Tobi yelled putting his mask on and covering his right eye peice.

"I don't even want to know!" Kisame said, staring wide eyed at his friends on the floor.

"It's not what it looks like!!" Kasai yelled "He has my diary!!" Then Itachi pushed Kasai onto the floor and bolted for his room that he and Kasai shared. He ran in and shut and locked the door.

"I still have the diary!!" Itachi yelled. Kasai pulled a metal pipe out from underneath the couch.

"You won't for long!!!" She yelled. Then she comically started banging the pipe on his door. Kisame and Tobi (whose mask is now off and no he's not Obito!!) anime sweatdropped. Kisame looked at his watch then at Kasai.

"Um, girly, don't you have to go to work?" Kisame asked. Kasai stopped and looked at her watch. _Shit! _Kasai thought. In one final attempt Kasai shoved the pipe through the wooden door.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Itachi screamed from behind the door.

"I'll get my diary back if its the last thing I do!!" Kasai yelled as she ran out the door. Kisame and Tobi sighed as Itachi walked out of the room, unharmed.

"No she won't!" Itachi laughed, as he held up the diary.

"Why won't she? Kasai is very determined!" Tobi said sweetly. Kisame rolled his eyes. Itachi smirked, then he shoved the diary down his pants. Tobi screamed and Kisame laughed. Yep, she wouldn't want it back now.

"I'm thirsty, I'm getting some water," Itachi said. Then he walked off, leaving a histarical Kisame and terrified Tobi in the living room.

XXXXX

"Shut up! I am not!" Kyoko said as she slapped Zetsu's arm. He laughed and looked at the road.

"All I'm saying is that you are incompitent at driving a stick! I refuse to allow you to drive my car unless by an off chance you learn!" Zetsu said, laughing. The two friends were driving towards Konoha's amusement park to hang out for the day. Zetsu was driving against the will of Kyoko, who wanted to drive.

"Well you didn't have to call me an idiot!" Kyoko said defensively.

"Okay? Your point is?" Zetsu asked, looking over to her. _God, she's gorgeous! Wait concentrate on the road or you'll kill us both! _Zetsu looked at the road and smiled.

"Uh! You're supposed to say 'I'm sorry' not 'Okay? Your point is?' Cause that's mean!!" Kyoko said. She sounded like a three year old whining.

"Oh, okay. I'm sorry Kyoko! I didn't mean to call you an idiot, even though it was perfectly call for!" Zetsu said sarcastically. Kyoko slapped Zetsu's arm again. This time they swirved.

"Oh my god!" Kyoko said grabbing the dash board after they stablized. Zetsu was laughing so hard, he looked like he was having trouble keeping the car stable!

"Zetsu! You did that on purpose!" Kyoko accused. Zetsu nodded and smiled.

"Don't make me swirve the car again! Cause next time I'll run into something!" Zetsu laughed. After a while he calmed down. He turned and looked at Kyoko who was glaring at him.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Zetsu asked innocently. She glared.

"What?! What did I do?" He asked again. Nothing.

"Will you stop looking at me like that??!!! It burns!!!" Zetsu screamed. He started getting nervous.

"I'm sorry! Okay? Stop looking at me like that!!!!" Zetsu said in a panic. Suddenly Kyoko burst out laughing. Zetsu parked the car in a parking space, a little annoyed.

"You should have seen your face!! It was priceless!!" Kyoko managed to say through her laughter.

"Why do you enjoy seeing me in panic? You're a bad friend!" Zetsu retorted.

"No, I'm not a bad friend, I just enjoy the thought of watching you get worked up all because of how I look at you!" Kyoko said after she calmed down. They walked towards the entrance of the park. Three younger boys, maybe about 14 or 15 years old, walked up beside them.

"Hey, freak! I didn't know the circus was in town!" one called. He had brown hair and was wearing glasses.

"Yeah! I thought that it only came once a year! We must be wrong!" another laughed. Zetsu snarled. He knew they were talking to him. _Ever since that stupid accident, people just can't get enough of taunting me 'cause of my skin! _He thought indignately.

"Hey, I didn't know it was here either! I'll have to call the ring master and get down him here! He's missing his main attraction! Three brutilly murdered boys!" Zetsu called. He flicked his wrists and two daggers fell out of his orange arm cuffs. Zetsu grabbed them and held them in front of himself. He moved into a fighting stance. Instantly the three boys froze. Kyoko stood behind Zetsu and grinned evilly.

Then Zetsu moved quickly, running towards them. The three boys screamed and ran. Zetsu stood up and stopped, laughing. Kyoko laughed as well. The boys kept on running. Zetsu took off his arm cuff, and put the knives back into their holsters. Then he put them back on. The orange cuffs came up to his elbows, and they covered his unquie skin, the entire left side of his body is ghost white and the entire right side is charcoal black.

"Nice, Zetsu!" Kyoko said, patting his back as they walked into a turnstile. Zetsu laughed and walked into the amusement park, Kyoko right behind him.

"I'm sorry people make fun of your skin, Zet. I mean if you didn't want to come out in public, we could have gone somewhere else!" Kyoko said apologizing. Zetsu only laughed.

"I've gotta get used to it. First it was my pure yellow eyes, now it's my skin! I'm used to it! Plus I'm one of the deadliest people in Konoha! Those boys must be foreigners, otherwise they would have known me!" Zetsu said, putting an arm around Kyoko's shoulders, like good friends.

"Get your arms off me!" Kyoko said, laughing. Zetsu did as told. They walked to the first roller coaster and got into line.

XXXXX

"I see you're late!" Temari said, leaning against the counter at the Konoha Texaco. Kasai walked behind the counter, pulling her brown Texaco T-shirt over her tank top. _Why do I have to work two jobs? Hinata only has one job and she can buy anything she wants when ever she wants!!!! _Kasai yelled in her mind. **'She's rich, dumbass,' **Kasai's inner self yelled at her. _Shut up you!_ With that the voices in her head shut up.

"Shut up! I had an accident at my apartment!" Kasai said, grabbing an inventory clipboard from under the counter. She turned and did inventory over cigarettes with Temari.

"Tell me! It couldn't have been that bad!" Temari said, laughing. Kasai looked at Temari from the corner of her eye.

"It involved my diary in the hands of Itachi Uchiha!" Kasai said before returning to work.

"Ooh! That's bad! Wel-- my bastard senses are tingling!" Temari said, becoming paralyzed.

"My dumbass senses are tinglings!" Kasai said almost directly after Temari. They both slowly turned around to peer out the large windows near the door. Out by the pumps were Hidan, Deidara, and Sasori. They were getting out of a beat up Mustang.

"I hate this car!" Hidan yelled. He kicked the wheels.

"Why don't you get a new car? Like that car!" Deidara yelled idiotically, pointing to Kasai's hummer, "Cai-ro. I love that place!!"

"Yep, definatly dumbass senses," Kasai said dully. Suddenly Temari ran over to her magazine on the counter and put it up to cover her face, only two pigtails could be seen.

"Oh great!" Kasai said. The three entered the gas station just as Kasai turned around to continue inventory.

Hidan looked at the girl at the counter and instantly recognized her as Temari by the blonde hair and pigtails. He leaned down on the counter, his head in his hand, his face inches (not even inches!) from the magazine.

Sasori leaned against the counter, and Deidara walked around by the food, grabbing a lot of junk.

"Hey I want a pack of Mist cigarettes!" Sasori demanded. Kasai sighed and looked over to the cigarettes then back at her clipboard. _Yep, 25 cartons, can check that off, _Kasai thought.

"I said I want my cigarettes!" Sasori said. He was getting kinda angry. Deidara walked up to the counter, his arms full of crappy food, and dumped it all on the counter. _That butt is familiar..._ Deidara thought, looking at Kasai's butt. Hidan stayed looking at the magazine, waiting for Temari to drop the magazine to yell.

"I said I want my --!!" Sasori yelled but he was cut off. Kasai, not even turning around, threw her pen at Sasori. It hit him right between the eyes. Sasori got really quiet then.

"That was cool! She didn't even turn around! And it hit you right between the eyes! Awesome!" Deidara said. He laughed, and opened a bag of chips he had placed on the counter and began eating them.

"Can I _please _have my Mist cigarettes?" Sasori asked, anger hinting his voice. Then Temari blew her top.

"YOU'RE UNDER---" Temari dropped the magazine. She stopped when she realized who was in front of her and how close he was. Hidan smirked. He grabbed the back of Temari's head and pulled it forward and kissed her. He pulled back and stood up.

"Hey, Blondie? Did you miss me that much? Oh, that was for the incident at HotTopic too!" Hidan remarked with a smirk. Temari scowled at him and threw a sucker from the crap that Deidara had put on the counter at him. It missed.

"What happened, Temari?!" Kasai asked horrified. She turned around then realized her mistake.

"I thought I knew that ass!!" Deidara said, pointing at Kasai. _Damn, _Kasai thought.

"So where's Bloody Mary?" Sasori asked, looking around. Temari and Kasai both knew that he meant Kyoko.

"We prefer to be called by our real names out side of the Rock&Roll Cafe, Sasori," Kasai said haughtily. He glowered at her, but recovered, smirking.

"I'm afraid I don't know her name. Would someone please inform me?" Sasori asked. Temari and Kasai smirked.

"We aren't allowed to give that out to costumers. It's against the Rock&Roll Cafe rules!" Temari replied smiling. Sasori scowled and he walked out of the gas station, Hidan right on his heels. Deidara stayed behind.

"Can I buy my things, at least?" Deidara asked, holding his chips up.

"Sure thing," Temari answered. She rung up his stuff and gave it all to him in a bag. Then suddenly he got all angry and huffy and walked out, giving Temari and Kasai the finger. Right before he left he winked at them. Then he continued the act all the way to his friends car and left with them.

"What is his problem!! I mean we were nice enough to let him get his crap!" Kasai said angrily. She obviously didn't notice him wink at them. Temari laughed and rolled her eyes. She grabbed a pen and continued on inventory, leaving a confused Kasai to get her own pen.

* * *

A/N: Hey everyone! We hope you enjoyed the second chapter! Okay in a later chapter it will explain why Kisame, Tobi (his skin in charcoal black by the way), and Zetsu's skin color is the way it is, because they weren't born that way! Well atleast not in our story! Okay so we need some help! In a later chapter we need a coupling for Kyoko and Kasai! We already have everyone else worked out. Do you guys want it to be Kasai/Deidara or Kasai/Naruto and do you guys want Kyoko/Zetsu or Kyoko/Sasori? Let us know in your reveiws! Well thank you for reading!

Naruto- Please put me with Kasai!

Deidara- No me! me Me ME!!!

Psycho- Oh joy! They're fighting again! Shut up or in the basement you go!

Hellbat- Oh god! Well ignore them and please reveiw!

Sasori- I want my smokes!!!!


	3. Strip Poker part 1

**Disclaimer - We don't own Naruto, and I (Hellbat) don't think we should, because we'd mess it up and personally we're not the best artists. (Psycho -- I never said I didn't want to own Naruto!! Neji is MMIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!)**

**A/N: Hey everyone. It's the third chapter now and we don't have many reveiws. (Hellbat- why are we still writing this then? Psycho- for our own amusement since it's so fun to create stupid stuff to go into it! Hellbat- oh yea... damn) If no one reveiws for the third chapter I, Hellbat, will force some people I know into reviewing. Anyway we hope you enjoy the story!

* * *

**

"What people say,--" she said.  
_What we think, _He thought.  
'**Inner selves' **She argued with herself.  
**_Inner Demons_**, they screamed in his mind.

* * *

"Strip Poker!" Naruto yelled as they all sat down. Kyoko, Kasai, Itachi, and Kisame decided to throw a party and invited Tenten, her boyfriend Shikamaru, Kankuro, Temari, Gaara, his girlfriend Hinata, Naruto, Sasuke (who none of the girls knew until now. And they also didn't know he was Itachi's younger brother until now), Zetsu, Neji, Tobi, Kakuzu, Ino, Sakura, and Shino (Kasai invited him so she could see what he looks like without the sunglasses). 

"What?" Everyone asked, looking at the annoying blonde boy. Naruto smiled and nodded.

"That's BRILLIANT!!!" Kyoko yelled. She ran out of the living room and ran into the room she and Kisame shared. Kisame ran after her to see what she was getting. He looked into the room, but couldn't see Kyoko. After all, the side of the room by the door was his side of the room. There was a thick black curtain that divided the room into two. After a few seconds, Kyoko came out hold a silver case. She got the half of the room with the window.

"I got it!" Kyoko said happily, her cerulean blue eyes sparkling. Kisame scowled. Of course, _she _would be the poker addict and not Kasai, who always bet him at some stupid thing.

"What is that?" Kisame asked, following Kyoko out of the room. She turned around, her purple hair flying.

"_Shhhhhhhhh!" _Kyoko commanded. Kisame shut up and wondered why Kyoko wanted to keep the box a secret. When the others where only a yard away. They sat down around the large coffee table (Kasai said it was her mother's before she died). Kyoko put the case in the middle of the table and looked around suspiciously.

"You all must swear not to tell a soul what is in this box," Kyoko whispered. If anyone had looked around, they would have seen Kakuzu practically kill himself to keep from laughing. He obviously knew what was in the box.

"We swear!" Naruto said, for everyone. They all nodded. Kyoko took the combination lock in her hand and dial the number. 7-13-66. Kasai raised an eyebrow at that. _She obviously made the combination herself. Just like our home phone..._Kasai thought in disbelief.

"Hurry up, will ya, Kyoko?! What's in the box!!" Ino shouted. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Shut up before I arrest you!" Sasuke said, leaning back.

"You can't do that!" Ino protested. She sat in mock shock. Sasuke just smirked.

"Oh yes, I can! I'm the town's top police officer!"

"Plus you can't arrest me for anything other than being this hot!" Ino said, her hands motioning to her body.

"I could arrest you for underaged smoking!" Sasuke said, pointing to the cigarette package in Ino's jacket pocket. She gasped.

"How did those get in there?" Ino asked looking around the table.

"Suure. I'll believe that when I believe Itachi isn't gay!" Sasuke said smirking.

"I'm not gay!!" Itachi yelled.

"It's true! I saw him and Kasai in a very 'comfortable' position earlier!" Kisame added in.

"He has my diary!!" Kasai said, defending herself.

"Oh yea! It's still in here!" Itachi said, pulling the diary out of his pants. A chorus of 'ew's and 'gross' could be heard miles away. Okay, not really.

"I don't want it back!" Kasai yelled, turning away.

"But seriously, guys! How did these get in here!" Ino said pointing to the cigarettes.

"Wait," Shikamaru said, sitting up, "Those are mine! Can you toss 'em here?" Ino gladly threw them at him. Well the word chucked would have been better. So, Ino gladly _chucked_ the box of cigarettes at him.

"Shikamaru, why haven't I arrested you for underaged smoking, yet?" Sasuke asked leaning back. Shikamaru put the cigarettes in his pocket and smiled, leaning back.

"Cause you love me!" Shikamaru said innocently. Everyone laughed.

"Again, why?" Sasuke asked, an amused smile on his face.

"So you _don't _love me?!!" Shikamaru asked, faking shock and rejection.

"Sasuke, you haven't arrested him yet, because I'm his girlfriend. I also happen to be the head chef at the Rock&Roll Cafe, a place you regularly eat at. I'd spit in your food and do other horrible things to it!" Tenten said calmly, getting bored of this conversation.

"Oh. Yeah. That's about right!" Sasuke said, laughing. Tenten smirked and turned her attention back to Kyoko, who was fighting with her brother.

"No! You can't tell them what's in the box!!" Kyoko yelled. Her face was slightly red with anger.

"But I want to!! Plus I already told Hinata and Kasai!" Kakuzu said, faking innocence. Kyoko went a shade redder.

"YOU DID WHAT??!!!" Kyoko yelled. That set everyone in _don't do anything to piss Kyoko off _mode. Hinata hid behind Kasai. Kasai just smiled and waved.

"You two don't get to watch as I open the box!" Kyoko yelled at them. Then Kakuzu got to feel Kyoko's wrath.

"YOU DON'T GET TO PLAY AT ALL!!!" Kyoko yelled at her older brother.

"But he has to play!!!!!" Kasai yelled, panic in her eyes.

"Why?" Neji asked. He was enjoying the mini-conversations that were going on.

"Because otherwise he'll look at my chest when my shirt is off!!!" Kasai yelled. Kyoko glared at her female roommate.

"I will do no such thing!" Kakuzu said, _trying _to defend himself.

"I'm gonna do the same thing Kakuzu! No shame in it!" Naruto said. It was Neji's turn to glare at his roommate.

Kyoko sighed/groaned, "FINE!! Kakuzu you can play, BUT!!! You, Hinata, and Kasai aren't allowed to watch as I open the box! So leave the room and go to the kitchen!! AND NO PEEKING!!!!" Kyoko yelled at the three as the got up and left the table. Gaara looked so alone at his end of the table without Hinata and Kasai. Too bad.

"Okay, remember that no one out side of this apartment is to know about the contents of this case, got it?" Kyoko asked looking around. The remaining fifteen people (not including Kyoko) leaned forward, towards the case. Kyoko lifted the lid and inside were...

"PERVERT!!!" _smack!!! _That was what came from the kitchen just as Kyoko was about to open the lid. The purple haired seventeen year old sighed and dropped the lid. Most of the remain people around the coffe table groaned. Gaara jumped to his feet.

"I'm coming Hinata!" Gaara yelled only to have Kankuro yank him down by his sleeve.

Kyoko sighed, "Don't bother Gaara. I'll handle it! KAKUZU IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT I'LL COME IN THERE AND KILL YOU WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS AND THEN ONCE YOU'RE DEAD I'LL DONATE ALL OF YOUR MONEY TO CHARITY!!!" Kasai's screaming stopped at the sound of Kakuzu gasping.

"I'm sorry Kasai, Kyoko!" Kakuzu yelled to the living room. Another smack could be heard.

"NO YOU'RE NOT!!" Kasai yelled as everyone turned their attention back to the case. Kyoko opened the lid once more and inside were... pure gold poker cards with the card face engraved into one side of the card. There were opal, emerald, amythest, ruby, onyx chips, perfectly sculpted to the refined shape of each playing chip they responded to: onyx-5, emerald- 10, amythest- 20, ruby- 50, and opal- 100. Everyone gasped.

"Oh my god, Kyoko! How did you afford this?!" Sakura asked, still trying to breathe. Kyoko smiled.

"It's been in the family for ages! It was my mother's but she passed it down to me. It was supposed to go to Kakuzu but he'd sell it and mother wouldn't allow that!" Kyoko explained everyone in awe.

"Now here is the biggest warning: I have counted and microchiped this entire set! There is an alarm at every possible exit, including the ventilation systems! If you try to steal even one peice, I will not hesitate to kill you! Got it?" Kyoko asked, glaring every person down in the room.

"AND I ESPECIALLY MEAN YOU, KAKUZU!!!" Kyoko yelled to the kitchen. Kasai, Hinata, and Kakuzu walked out of the kitchen and sat down back at their end of the table.

"Are there enough cards, Kyoko?" Shino asked looking at the cards. Kyoko nodded.

"It's double poker. There will be two winners each game. There are also double chips so everyone has enough chips. Now I'll be the dealer so everyone get your chips!" Kyoko said happily.

XXXXX

"Damn you, Kasai!" Kankuro yelled, pulling off his shirt. The beginning rules for beginning dress code was no jewlery, except for peircings, no arm cuffs, no jackets, no man skirts (everyone looked at Kankuro when he took his off his plaid manskirt to show really kool Tripp pants underneath), no hats, no sunglasses (all of the girls gawked at smexy Shino Hellbat- that was Psycho when he took off his sunglasses) no socks or shoes, and bras, underwear or boxers are to be on at all times.

"Heh that's just what you get loser!" Kasai laughed. Kankuro just glared at Kasai. He was out of the game. A lot of people were. Only Shikamaru, Kyoko, Kasai, Gaara, Temari, Tobi, and Zetsu were in. Everyone one else just said in their underpants (and in the girls cases panties and bras) while they watched the remain battle it out for the top two.

Shikamaru and Tobi were fully clothed, Kasai was without her skirt and overshirt (leaving her in her cami, bra, and pink bunny panties), Gaara was shirtless, along with Temari, Kyoko, and Zetsu.

"I didn't know you wore panties, Kasai. I figured you for a camando type person!" Naruto said smirked. _THWAP!!! _Naruto whimpered in pain as Neji sat stoicly next to him, pretending that he never hit the blonde.

"I didn't know you wore strapless bras, Kyoko!" Zetsu laughed. Kyoko turned and glared at said boy. He cowered in fear. No man wants to become a eunic.

"Are you a double D, Temari?" Shino asked in shock. When he took off his shirt earlier, all of the girl gawked at his six pack. It was weird because no one ever saw (or thought about, for that matter) Shino work out! Temari glared at the boy next to her.

"I'm a 24C, ass munch!" Temari hissed, her hand twitching, just waiting to be raised to hit the boy.

"Well if Temari is a C then Kasai must be an X by the looks of things!" Itachi laughed. Sasuke punched Itachi in the stomach, never turning away from his position.

"If you're gonna be in public with me and have people know that we're related, don't be a lech!" Sasuke commanded, never opening his eyes. Ino and Sakura sighed happily, their eyes little hearts as they stared adoringly at the man.

But suddenly Sakura's phone rang. Picking up her phone she instantly saw it was a text from her boyfriend. It read: _Sakura, my 'ur looking another man' senses were tingling. Were u? _Sakura slammed her fist on the table and growled under her breath.

"Damn you, Kakashi!" Sakura yelled, texting him back, saying: _No, u r just imaging it! _But alas Kakashi texted back saying: _It was Sasuke wasn't it? _Sakura slammed her fist on the table again, denting it. In one last attempt to silence her boyfriend she texted: _We're playing strip poker, i was just looking around the table! _After that Kakashi texted: _I'm coming over. Kasai's place right? c u soon. luv kaka._

"How the hell did he know I was here?!!!" Sakura screamed, throwing her phone onto her pants. It landed with an inaudible _thud. _Shikamaru lifted his head and looked at her.

"Kakashi Hatake? About seventeen years old, silver spiky hair, one blue eye one red, reads porno books. That Kakashi?" Shikamaru asked. Sakura nodded her head slowly and looked at the lazy genius strangely.

"Yeah, that's him. The red eye is a contact," Sakura explained. Sasuke jumped up and pointed at the pink haired girl.

"I arrested him last week for buying alcohol with a fake i.d.!" Sasuke yelled. Neji leaned back again, enjoying another round of mini- conversations. Sakura looked shocked.

"He told me he was on vacation!! DAMN YOU KAKASHI!" Sakura yelled. The doorbell rang and exactly after that the person outside of the apartment sneezed.

"DAMMIT!" Sakura yelled.

"Come in!" Kasai said happily, Sakura glaring at her all the while, "The doors open!" With that a man with silver spiky hair, a perfect god-like face, one red eye one blue, a pair of black Tripps with thousands of chains all over them, a long sleeve fish net undershirt that hooked around his knuckles and had spikes on them, a thick black short sleeve jacket covering one arm and a choker spike necklace around his neck leaned against the wall and over looked the ninteen teens playing strip poker. Kasai gawked at the man, ogling at the man.

"Sakura, get dressed. You're already out so at least look like you're _trying _to look decent around your boyfriend!" Kakashi said, sighing. Sakura laughed, gathered her clothes and ran to the bathroom. Kakashi walked over to the couch and sat down.

"Kasai, you're out!" Shikamaru said, a cruel smirk on his face. Kasai looked at him, her mouth as big and open as a fish's!

"But! How?!" Kasai yelled. Shikamaru smirked and laid his golden hand down. All aces from one deck.

"Kasai, take off the cami. Wait, on second thought, just for shits and grins take off the cami while standing up!" Shikamaru said, smirking. A pen was thrown at his head. Most likely from Tenten or Neji. Wait, Tenten's would have hit. So, Neji threw at pen at Shikamaru's head.

"Grr!! I'll get you for this! You and your ponytail too!" Kasai said, standing. She pulled off her shirt to show a matching pink bunny bra. She heard Naruto, Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, Shino, and Sasuke hoot and howl at her. Neji slapped them all. None of them knew what hit them. He was so fast! It was like he practiced or something!

"Father's training paid off didn't, Neji?" Hinata asked, laughing. Neji glared at her.

"Shut up!" Neji said, pointing to the smaller girl. Gaara growled and looked insanely angry at Neji. Said boy put his hands up in surrender and leaned away from the boy.

A sudden "Hey where's my cami?" was heard. Kasai stood up and looked around her when...

"Quick, Sasuke!' Naruto yelled, throwing the white cami at the stoic boy. Sasuke got it then threw it to Kisame.

"Kakuzu!" Kisame yelled, throwing it towards Kasai. Shikamaru stood up and quickly snatched the shirt out of Kasai's reach. Tossing it to Itachi, Kasai screamed, fearing the worst.

"Down the boxers it goes!" Itachi said, opening this boxers enough to shove Kasai's cami there.

"NOOO!!" Kasai yelled. Now she had lost two things to the evil Uchiha. Spontaneously, Kasai lept across the table and landed on Itachi and began to beat the living hell outta him. It looked he was in a hellava lot of pain.

"Does that hurt Itachi?" Neji asked, laughing.

"Yes, but I have a wonderful view of things!" Itachi answered. _THWAP!!!! _Itachi howled in pain. How amusing.

"Okay, so there is just Kyoko, Temari, Tobi, Temari, Gaara, and Zetsu left. Any bets on who the top two will be?" Sakura asked, walking out of the bathroom in her clothes and jewelry. Walking over to the couch she sat down next to Kakashi and smiled at everyone.

* * *

A/N: Hey everyone! How did you like chapter three? Next chapter there will be a major surprise! So just wait! Also there is a diagram that we made so you know who all is sitting where. It's also a chart of who everyone lives with! There are a few character in the chart we haven't mentioned yet, but please bear with us. The link to the diagram is on my (Hellbat) profile site. 

And we've narrowed down the crack pairing a bit too, but a new problem has arrived. Will it be Kyoko/Zetsu, Kyoko/Kisame, or Kyoko/Sasori and do you want Kasai/Itachi or Kasai/Deidara? No more Naruto! YAY! And we have a new commer! Melynn! She's paired with Tobi! Also as an little side note: I, Hellbat, modelled Kakashi's outfit after what a friend of mine wore to the mall one time. He looked so kool in it! Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Naruto- WHA?? I don't get to be with Kasai?! NOOOO!!!!

Deidara- Sucess! Wait, ITACHI??!!!

Itachi- WTF??

Psycho- HEEHEE I HAD SUGAR!!!! (PS from Hellbat- its 12:48 in the effing morning!)

Hellbat- Please review and send in which crack pairing you want! NO FLAMES!!!

Zetsu- I repeat SEND IN YOUR CRACK PAIR VOTE NOW!

Sasori- I still don't have my smokes...


	4. Strip Poker part 2

**Disclaimer- We don't own Naruto, although Psycho wants to. It's crazy talk! (Psycho- no it's not!!!)**

**A/N: Hey everyone! Oh our lovely fans! Wonderful news! We have decided all of the pairing! (Psycho- we ain't gonna tell ya! XD!) Although we still need you to vote on Kyoko and Kasai's pairings. Please vote when you review! In other news I, Psycho, have gone from a Neji fangirl to a Deidara fangirl! (Hellbat- Over night, need you know...) Anyway enjoy! **

**SPECIAL NEWS REPORT!!!!: If you wanna know what the characters look like go to my (Hellbat's) profile and click on the links! We don't own them but I love how everyone looks! **

XXXXX

"What people say,--" she said.  
_What we think, _He thought.  
'**Inner selves' **She argued with herself.  
_**Inner Demons**_, they screamed in his mind.

XXXXX

"Okay, so there is just Kyoko, Temari, Tobi, Shikamaru, Gaara, and Zetsu left. Any bets on who the top two will be?" Sakura asked, walking out of the bathroom in her clothes and jewelry. Walking over to the couch she sat down next to Kakashi and smiled at everyone.

XXXXX

"Well I'm out!" laughed Shikamaru. Taking off his pants he leaned back and watched the remaining players battle it out. In only three turns, Shikamaru had managed to go from fully clothed to nearly naked. What a shocker! Something told everyone that he lost on purpose. He is a genius, after all.

"I think you lost on purpose, Shika!" Tobi said, now shirtless. He had lost his shirt a turn before Shikamaru. Temari smirked. It did look like he lost on purpose. Kyoko smirked at her hand, a fiendish plan formulating in her head.

"Tobi, you're out!" Kyoko said, putting her hand down. A full house. Tobi gasped in horror. Temari smirked as Kyoko motioned her to sit down next to her. They whispered in each others ears. Tobi sat in horror, barely able to imagine the horrible ways that they would make him take off his pants (remember he is a good boy so he really can't imagine it!) Suddenly Kyoko shot back, her hand at her mouth, indicating shock.

"BRILLIANT!!'" Kyoko yelled, pointing at a smirking Temari. Tobi began to tremble.

"W-w-what i-is i-it?" Tobi asked, he looked like a black leaf. His brown eyes were wide with shock. Zetsu patted Tobi's shoulder, as if saying 'it was nice knowing ya'.

"We're having TacoTuesday, every tuesday!" Kyoko said in a 'matter-of-fact' voice. Everyone in the room anime sweatdropped. Tobi fell over, anime style of course!

"What did you think we were talking about, Tobi?" Temari asked, looking at the boy with an eyebrow raised.

"I thought you were discussing the terrible way that I would take off my pants!" Tobi said, sighing with relief.

"Just take off your pants, Tobi!" Kyoko said happily. Tobi did so, all the while little anime tears rolled down his face.

"I was such a good boy before this day!" Tobi cried. Everyone just laughed. Suddenly Kakuzu's phone went off. Everyone in the room stared at him. He smiled and took his phone out of his pants pocket. He didn't smile however when he looked at who it was from.

_'Where the hell are you?' _It was from Deidara. Looking quickly at Kisame, Itachi, Tobi, and Zetsu the caution in his eyes was apparent. Three of boys went rigid. This could spell trouble. They all knew who had texted Kakuzu. Tobi...was oblivious to all of it and gave him a questioning look.

"Who sent the text, bro?" Kyoko asked, trying to lean over the table to see. Zetsu grabbed her by her shoulder and brought her back, a smile on his face. Kyoko stared at him in confusion.

"No one," Kakuzu said, looking at the phone again. His thumb flew over the digits as he texted the boy back. _'At my younger sister's place,' _It said. Suddenly he froze. They knew where that was at. They all had boost mobile. _'Sasori hidan and me r comin over,' 'no!' 'now we're definately coming c u soon!' _Kakuzu growled and stood up.

"DAMMIT!" Kakuzu said, throwing his phone down on the ground. He grabbed his pants and T-shirt and quickly threw them on. Zetsu stood partically, his knees somewhat bent.

"Again, Kakuzu, who was it?" Kyoko asked, getting irrated. Whoever it was her male roommates and her older brothers roommates didn't like, or didn't want them to know about.

"Yea! Who is it?" Tobi asked. From next to him Zetsu looked at the boy with a look that said 'you're a fucking retard!' and 'I can't believe you just asked that!'. Tobi tilted his head and looked at Kakuzu. Suddenly Tobi's phone went off. He looked down and saw the text was from Itachi. _'You dumbass! it was from Hidan Deidara and Sasori! They harrass kyoko kasai and temari at work! this cause some problems if they no we no them!' _Tobi's head shot back and he gasped. Everyone looked at him. He looked around and smiled cheesily as he put his phone away.

"Kas, you got my bro, Tem the door. I got the good boy," Kyoko said. Then she lunged across Zetsu at Tobi. Landing on him, Kyoko grabbed his hands. Temari made a wild dash to the door. Kasai picked up her pants. Wait, WHAT??!!

"Lemme get my pants on!" Kasai yelled as Temari dashed for the door. Kisame shot up and tackled her. She yelped as they went down.

"I'm not on my school's football team for nothing!" Kisame said as he pinned Temari down. She struggled hard, but he was a bit stronger than him.

"Get off of me!" Temari yelled. Kisame smirked behind her back.

Kyoko tried to take Tobi's phone out of his hands. Suddenly Zetsu ripped Kyoko off Tobi. He lifted her into the air. She shrieked, shocked by the fast movement and the fact her feet were no longer touching the ground. If no one knows this, Zetsu's about 5 inches taller than Kyoko and he was far stronger.

"Put me down! Put me down!" Kyoko yelled thrashing around. It was hard to keep her in the air.

Kasai pulled her pants on and was about to button them when she noticed that Kakuzu had made a dash for the door. He jumped over Kisame and Temari, Tobi hot on his heels.

"Hey! Stop right there miester!" Kasai yelled as she began to run after them. Suddenly a hand grabbed her ankle and she fell. She turned around and saw Itachi smirking at her.

"Damn you Uchiha!" Kasai yelled.

"Hey!" Sasuke yelled indignantly.

"Oops! I mean, DAMN YOU ITACHI!" Kasai yelled. Itachi smirked.

"Oh baby!" Itachi said. Kasai shuddered. Kakuzu continued towards the door, Tobi right behind him.

"Tobi, guard the door!" Kakuzu yelled as he exited the apartment. After the door shut, Tobi threw his back against the door, his arms and legs spread out.

"I was such a good boy before this day!" Tobi said, more anime tears rolling down his eyes. With a yelled, Kyoko broke free of Zetsu's death grip. She ran to the door, but forgot about Kisame and Temari in the hallway. Kyoko noticed Kisame too late and tripped over him, knocking Kisame off of Temari.

"Temari! The door! Quick!" Kyoko yelled. Temari jumped up and jumped over Kisame and Kyoko and ran down the length of the hallway towards Tobi.

"Little man, you're mine!" Temari yelled, running at Tobi. She was slammed into the wall at the last second. She looked up at Zetsu, who smirked.

"Forgot the kitchen door didn'tcha?" Zetsu asked a smirk in his voice. Temari growled under her breath.

"Lemme go Itachi!" Kasai yelled. Itachi just looked at her feet.

"What size shoe do you wear?" he asked, pretending that Kasai weren't struggling to get to the door.

"I thought you wanted to get into her pants, not her shoes!" Kankuro said, lounging on the coach with the other guys. Sakura and Kakashi had moved to the love seat next to the TV. The other girls were still around the table.

"Oh that's later!" Itachi said, laughing. Kasai's eyes widened in horror.

"EEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!" Kasai yelled. The entire room of single men laughed.

XXXXX

Kakuzu stood next to the door as Hidan, Sasori, and Deidara walked up the last flight of steps to Kyoko's apartment. They were talking and laughing about something, but when they noticed Kakuzu's pissed attitude they hushed.

"What's up man?" Hidan asked, walking up to his best friend. Kakuzu didn't say anything.

"So, what's with the PMS?" Sasori asked, lighting a cigarette. Kakuzu glared at everyone in turn.

"I told you not to come. This is my baby sister's place. Not mine," Kakuzu said, more pissed to even want to talk.

"And? We want to meet her!" Deidara said, smiling.

"You did meet her," Kakuzu replied.

"Yeah, once upon a time," Sasori interjected. Kakuzu glared at him.

"That was before she could get hot! Didn't she have like white-white hair and really blue eyes?" Hidan asked. Kakuzu glared at him.

"Yeah, once upon a time," Kakuzu shot back. The three guys took another step forward. Suddenly a large crash in the apartment brought all their attention to the door.

"OW FUCK! DAMMIT GIRL!" Itachi called from inside. Hidan raised an eyebrow.

"KISAME! TRADE ME! OW! FUCK! KYOKO PROBABLY WON'T _KILL _ME!" Zetsu yelled. Sasori's eyebrows went up.

"KEEP 'EM AWAY FROM THE DOOR! KEEP 'EM AWAY FROM THE DOOR!" Tobi yelled. Deidara smirked.

"So the whole gang's at your sis's place! C'mon let's say hi!" Deidara said marching to the door. Both Hidan and Sasori took a step back. When Deidara was in hitting range, Kakuzu grabbed his neck and threw him to the other door. The two other boys smirked at the younger boy's stupidity.

"You're not going in," Kakuzu said through clenched teeth. Hidan smirked and walked right up to his best friend.

"You're hiding something aren't you, Kakuzu? I wouldn't put it passed you, but you never seemed like the over protective type when it came to your baby sister. As I recall you did nothing that time she dated the abusive guy. A friend of hers had to step in!" Hidan stabbed. Kakuzu mentally cringed. It was true. Everyone of Kyoko's friends had stepped in except him.

"Turned over a new leaf," Kakuzu said, turning his head a bit. Sasori stepped away from his hurt best friend and walked up to Kakuzu.

"How much to get in K?" Sasori asked, smirking. He pulled out his wallet and waved it infront of Kakuzu's face.

XXXXXX

Kasai yelled as she swung her other foot at Itachi. He leaned back, her foot inches from his face.

"Oh! Matrix!" Itachi said in his 'oh, baby' voice.

"Why?!! WHY CAN'T I KICK HIM! Sasuke! He's your brother!" Kasai yelled, still trying to extract her foot from the older boy's hold. Sasuke groaned on the couch.

"But I don't wanna!" Sasuke groaned, leaning back. Kasai struggled.

"LAZYASS!" Kasai yelled, trying furiously to kick Itachi.

"Yes?" Shikamaru answered. Tenten burst out laughing on his lap.

"Oof!" Zetsu moaned as Kyoko kneed his stomach. He let go of Kyoko and wrapped her arms around his stomach. After Kisame had let go of Kyoko, Zetsu had to shove Temari towards the blue man and dash after Kyoko down the hall.Then he had to slam her into a wall. Kyoko made a mad dash to the door and grabbed Tobi's arms and swung him away from the door.

"Zetsu! Get her quick!" Tobi shrieked. Zetsu was about to run and grab Kyoko when something hit him in the back of the head. He turned around and looked at the groud. It was something small and orange. Something didn't feel right.

"JELLYBEAN!!!!!" Hinata yelled, running towards the jellybean. Gaara was right behind her. Zetsu's eyes were as wide as saucers. In her attempt to retrieve her jellybean, Hinata dove and tackled Zetsu. Gaara ran past them, chuckling. _So he threw the jellybean!! _Zetsu thought in a cloud of pain. Hinata was now sitting on his stomach cuddling her marveled orange jellybean.

"Outta my way!" Gaara yelled shoving Kyoko aside. Kyoko landed on Tobi, who grabbed her and kept her down. Gaara thrust open the door and ran out into the hallway, the door slamming behind him. He stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw.

Kakuzu had a wallet in one hand and Sasori in the air by his neck in the other. Hidan was next to Sasori smirking. Deidara was getting up near the door on the other side. They all stopped and looked at him.

"What's going on here?! Why are they here, Kakuzu?!" Gaara yelled, knowing his sister and her friends obvious displeasure of the three uninvited guests. Time stood still.

"Hey Gaara," Deidara said getting up.

XXXXXX

Hey everyone! This is Hellbat and Psycho reporting! Sorry it's been awhile, but a lot of things have been happening and well as many of you who have read my (Hellbat) other stories, I'm kinda in for a loop!

Psycho- You're gonna be in for another loop if we don't work on our other stories!!!!

Hellbat- Heh heh, yea um... about that...

Psycho- HELLBAT!!!

Itachi- Whatever. I don't see why I'm a candidate for Kasai pairing.

Hellbat- Cuz you'd look cute together!

Deidara- I wanna be with Kasai-chan!

Kasai- DID HE JUST CALL ME 'KASAI-CHAN'??!!!

Kyoko- sighs Please reveiw! Hellbat and Psycho will update soon!

Sasori- Really! Will no one give me my smokes!! Please?!!!


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